节约用电

in today's world,people are increasingly a way of necessity of  “starting from our selves to save  electricity” first rasic public a wareness  which can help people use the necessity of " save electricity " second  turn of the electricity third i suggest the department concerned talking some effective measures to improve the present situations .we should spare no effort to our environment

Thank you for your submission on the topic of saving electricity. Let's evaluate your essay based on the provided scoring criteria and offer feedback for improvement.

Score: 11/30

Evaluation:

1. Content Completion:
   - You have mentioned key ideas such as public awareness of saving electricity, turning off unnecessary electricity, and suggesting measures to improve the situation. However, the points are not clearly organized or fully developed.

2. Structure:
   - The essay lacks a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your ideas need to be presented in a coherent manner with clear transitions.

3. Language Use:
   - There are several language errors affecting clarity, such as incorrect word forms ("rasic" should be "raise", "awereness" should be "awareness") and awkward phrases ("starting from our selves").
   - Grammar errors like sentence fragments and punctuation issues also hinder understanding.

4. Vocabulary:
   - Vocabulary is repetitive (e.g., "save electricity", "necessity") and lacks variety. More precise vocabulary would enhance your message.

Suggestions for Improvement:

1. Organization:
   - Start with an introduction that outlines the importance of saving electricity.
   - Develop a body section where each point is expanded upon with examples or explanations.
   - Conclude with a summary and a call to action.

2. Clarity and Language Accuracy:
   - Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Proofread your work or use tools like grammar checkers.
   - Use complete sentences and clear transition words to connect ideas logically.

3. Vocabulary Diversity:
   - Introduce synonyms and varied sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and precise.

4. Depth and Detail:
   - Expand on each idea with supporting details, examples, or statistics to make your argument more compelling.

By addressing these areas, you'll be able to communicate your ideas more effectively and improve your overall score. Keep practicing to develop your writing skills further!

中文回复

Maggie0126 发表于 2025-10-26 17:51
中文回复

感谢你提交的关于节约用电的作文。根据评分标准，我将对你的文章进行评估并给出一些改进建议。

评分：11/30

评估：

1. 内容完成度：
   - 你提到了节约用电的关键想法，如提高公众意识、关闭不必要的电源以及建议相关部门采取措施。但这些要点没有清晰地组织或充分展开。

2. 结构：
   - 文章缺乏明确的引言、正文和结论。需要以连贯的方式呈现你的想法，并使用清晰的过渡语。

3. 语言使用：
   - 存在多处语言错误影响了表达的清晰度，例如不正确的词形（“rasic” 应为 “raise”，“awereness” 应为 “awareness”）以及一些表述不太通顺的短语（如“starting from our selves”）。
   - 语法错误如句子片段和标点问题也阻碍了理解。

4. 词汇：
   - 词汇重复（如“save electricity”、“necessity”）且缺乏多样性。使用更精确的词汇可以增强你的信息传达。

改进建议：

1. 组织结构：
   - 以介绍节约用电重要性的段落开始。
   - 正文中，扩展每个要点并提供例子或解释。
   - 总结时重申要点并发出行动号召。

2. 清晰度和语言准确性：
   - 注意拼写、语法和标点符号。校对你的作品或使用语法检查工具。
   - 使用完整的句子和清晰的过渡词，以逻辑连接想法。

3. 词汇多样性：
   - 引入同义词和多样的句型，使你的写作更加生动和准确。

4. 深度与细节：
   - 扩展每个想法，加入支持性细节、例子或统计数据，使论点更具说服力。

通过改善这些方面，你将能够更有效地传达你的观点，并提高整体分数。继续练习，不断提升你的写作能力！