作文评分

Dear Mick,
       I am writing to invite you to my birthday party. I think it would be a good idea if you take part in
       The birthday party will take place in my home. It will begin at 19:00 on Sunday.The party will last for about three hours, from 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm. I want to introduce some friends to you. At that time you can make some friends on the  party ; it will enrich your social life. I am sure that you will enjoy an unforgettable moment there.
     I am looking forward to your early reply. My phone number is 13137239681. I really hope you can make it.
                                                                                                                                    Yours Li ke

评分：22分

评语：这篇作文完成了试题规定的任务，表达了邀请参加生日派对的关键内容要点。然而，该作文在语言运用上存在一些需要改进的地方，以进一步提高可读性和准确性。

优点：
1. 清楚地表达了邀请的内容，包括时间、地点和活动细节。
2. 表达了期待对方回复并提供了联系方式。

不足与建议：
1. 第二句话 "I think it would be a good idea if you take part in" 末尾缺少宾语，可以改为 "I think it would be a good idea if you could join us for the celebration."
2. 时间表达应统一标准。既然开头已经说明是晚上7点，可以直接用19:00，而不是7:00 pm。
3. 词汇运用可以更加丰富，例如 "make some friends on the party" 可以改为 "meet and mingle with new friends at the party."
4. 语法结构可以更自然连贯，比如 "I really hope you can make it." 改为 "I really hope you can join us."

总体来说，文章整体结构良好，内容完整，但语言的准确性和丰富性还有提升空间。通过一些细微的调整可以进一步提高作文质量。