An Unforgettable Holiday

It is a holiday which  the Mid-Autumn Festival that made me especially unforgettableWith the rapid development of society. More and more focus is placed on elderly people. It is a warm thing to take part in society activities to help some elderly people. First of all, in order to give a comfortable environment for elderly people, we need to clean rooms and yard. What's more, elderly bodies are inconvenient to make abundant food in their daily lives, so we prepared a lot of delicious lunches. Finally, these activities which dancing, singing and playing some gental games with the elderly people help us to be close.
It is really an unforgettable holiday for me.

评分：13-18分

作文评语：

1. 内容及要点：
   - 作文提到了参加的活动，包括清理房间和院子、准备食物以及与老人进行娱乐活动。然而，关于“中秋节”这个特殊节日的背景和个人感受没有详细描述。可以通过添加一些有关节日习俗或者个人经历的细节来增强内容的丰富性。

2. 篇章结构：
   - 整篇文章有逻辑，但缺乏过渡句，使得各段落之间的联系不够紧密。建议增加一些过渡句或连接词，使文章更连贯。

3. 语言运用：
   - 文章使用了基本的语法结构和词汇，但存在一些语法错误，比如：“which the Mid-Autumn Festival that made me especially unforgettable”应更改为“it was the Mid-Autumn Festival that made it especially unforgettable.”
   - 另外，“more and more focus is placed on..."可以改为“more and more attention is being paid to...”
   - “Which dancing, singing and playing some gental games”中的“gental”应该是“gentle”。

4. 建议：
   - 增加更多有关中秋节的个人感受和体验，以提高内容的深度。
   - 使用更准确和适当的词汇来表达观点。
   - 确保语法正确，以提高语言的准确性和可读性。

通过上述改进，作文将更完整、更有吸引力。