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Maggie0126 发表于 2025-4-13 00:41 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
In recent times, there’s been a noticeable surge in discussions surrounding “sport". From my vantage point, "sport” plays a very important role in our lives. As for me, "sport” is helpful, beneficial and necessary.
Sport "can significantly enhance one's lifespan and enhances immunity, thus fortifying the body against various diseases.
First of all, “sport" can improve our quality of life. In addition, it is very meaningful and helps me realize my self worth. Last but not least, I can make a lot of friends with my society.
Considering the points raised above, it is clear that ultimately “Sport”is important, helpful and absolutely necessary.
王艳 发表于 2025-4-13 00:42 | 显示全部楼层
Overall evaluation: The essay provides a clear viewpoint on the importance of sports in our lives but does not fully elaborate on its arguments or support them with examples. The topic is addressed, yet the structure and language use can be enhanced for better coherence and impact.

Score: 14/30

Analysis:

Content:
- The essay mentions the role of sports in enhancing lifespan, immunity, and overall quality of life.
- It briefly touches upon personal benefits such as self-worth and social connections.
- While these points are relevant, the essay lacks depth and specific examples that could strengthen the argument.

Structure:
- The essay has a basic introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs need more development.
- Each point raised could benefit from being expanded with examples or explanations to provide a clearer insight into the benefits mentioned.

Language Use:
- The language is straightforward but somewhat repetitive ("helpful, beneficial and necessary”).
- Sentence structure is generally correct but could be varied for more engaging writing.
- There is inconsistent punctuation of the term "sport," sometimes presented with quotes and sometimes without.

Recommendations for Improvement:
1. Expand on each point with specific examples or arguments to make the essay more convincing.
   - For instance, describe how sports improve immunity or give a personal anecdote about making friends through sports.
   
2. Improve the structure by clearly separating the introduction, body, and conclusion with transitions.
   - Use connecting phrases like "Furthermore" or "Moreover" to enhance the flow between ideas.

3. Refine language use to diversify vocabulary and avoid repetition.
   - Instead of repeatedly stating that sports are "helpful, beneficial and necessary," explore different facets of sports, such as mental health benefits or skill development.

4. Ensure consistency in punctuation and presentation of terms (e.g., consistently using or not using quotes around "sport").

5. If possible, add statistics or facts to substantiate claims, increasing the credibility of the argument.
Maggie0126楼主 发表于 2025-4-13 00:42 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
中文回复
王艳 发表于 2025-4-13 00:42 | 显示全部楼层


总体评价:这篇作文明确表达了体育在我们生活中的重要性,但没有充分展开其论点或用例子来支持。虽然主题被涉及到,但结构和语言运用可以改进,以更好地加强连贯性和影响力。

评分:14/30

分析:

内容:
- 作文提到了体育在延长寿命、增强免疫力和提升生活质量方面的作用。
- 简要提及了个人层面的益处,如自我价值感和社交关系。
- 虽然这些观点是相关的,但文章缺乏深度和具体例子来增强论证。

结构:
- 作文有一个基本的引言和结论,但主体段落需要更多的发展。
- 每个观点都可以通过扩展例子或解释来提供更清晰的见解。

语言运用:
- 语言直白但略显重复(如“有帮助的、有益的和必要的”)。
- 句子结构大致正确,但可以通过变化来使文章更具吸引力。
- 对“sport”一词的标点使用不一致,有时使用引号,有时没有。

改进建议:
1. 扩展每个观点,加入具体例子或论据,使文章更具说服力。
   - 例如,描述体育如何提高免疫力,或者讲述通过体育结交朋友的个人轶事。

2. 改善结构,清晰分开引言、主体和结论,并使用过渡短语。
   - 使用连接短语如“此外”或“而且”来增强思想之间的连贯性。

3. 提升语言使用,丰富词汇,避免重复。
   - 除了反复说明体育是“有帮助的、有益的和必要的”,还可以探讨体育的不同方面,如心理健康益处或技能发展。

4. 确保术语的标点和表达一致(例如,始终使用或不使用引号来标识“sport”)。

5. 如有可能,加入统计数据或事实来支持论点,提高论证的可信度。
Maggie0126楼主 发表于 2025-4-13 00:48 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
中文翻译作文
王艳 发表于 2025-4-13 00:48 | 显示全部楼层


近年来,围绕“体育”的讨论明显增多。从我的角度来看,“体育”在我们的生活中扮演着非常重要的角色。对我而言,“体育”是有帮助的、有益的和必要的。

体育能够显著延长人的寿命,提高免疫力,从而增强身体对抗各种疾病的能力。

首先,“体育”可以改善我们的生活质量。此外,它非常有意义,帮助我实现自我价值。最后但同样重要的是,我可以通过体育在社会中结交很多朋友。

综合以上几点,很明显,“体育”是重要的、有帮助的,而且绝对必要。
Maggie0126楼主 发表于 2025-4-13 00:50 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
In recent times, there’s been a noticeable surge in discussions surrounding “sport". From my vantage point, "sport” plays a very important role in our lives.
Sport "can significantly enhance one's lifespan and enhances immunity, thus fortifying the body against various diseases.
First of all, “sport" can improve our quality of life. In addition, it is very meaningful and helps me realize my self worth. Last but not least, I can make a lot of friends with my society.
Considering the points raised above, it is clear that ultimately “Sport”is important, helpful and absolutely necessary.
王艳 发表于 2025-4-13 00:50 | 显示全部楼层
Maggie0126 发表于 2025-04-13 00:50
In recent times, there’s been a noticeable surge  ...


总体评价:这篇文章对体育在我们生活中的重要性提供了一个简洁明了的观点,但缺乏详细的论证和支持性的例子。虽然主题被涉及,但内容和结构可以进一步丰富,以增加文章的说服力和深度。

评分:15/30

分析:

内容:
- 文章提到了体育对提高寿命、增强免疫力和提升生活质量的作用。
- 提及了体育在个人自我价值感和社交方面的益处。
- 尽管观点相关,但缺乏具体的细节和例子来强化论述。

结构:
- 文章有明确的引言和结论,但主体部分需要更详细的扩展。
- 各个观点都可以通过加入更详细的解释或实例来增强说服力。

语言运用:
- 语言使用简单直接,但表述稍显重复。
- 句子结构总体正确,但可以更加多样化以提高可读性。
- 有些地方标点符号使用不一致,例如“sport”一词的标点和引号。

改进建议:
1. 扩展每个观点,提供具体例子或事实以支持你的论点。
   - 例如,描述具体的体育活动如何增强免疫力或者分享个人通过体育社交的经历。

2. 改善结构,通过过渡句清晰地连接引言、主体和结论。
   - 使用诸如“此外”,“除此之外”等短语来增强各段落之间的逻辑流畅性。

3. 丰富语言表达,避免使用重复的词汇。
   - 可以讨论体育的其他方面,如心理健康益处或团队合作能力的发展。

4. 确保术语和标点符号的使用一致。

通过这些改进,这篇文章将更加完整和具有说服力。
Maggie0126楼主 发表于 2025-4-13 00:50 来自手机 | 显示全部楼层
修改作文
王艳 发表于 2025-4-13 00:50 | 显示全部楼层


以下是对作文的修改建议,以增强内容的深度和说服力:

---

In recent times, there's been a noticeable surge in discussions surrounding "sport." From my vantage point, sport plays an integral role in our lives. Not only does engaging in sports enhance physical health, but it also provides numerous mental and social benefits.

Firstly, participating in sports can significantly increase one's lifespan and strengthen the immune system, thereby fortifying the body against various diseases. For example, regular exercise such as jogging or swimming boosts cardiovascular health and reduces the risk of chronic ailments like obesity and diabetes.

Moreover, sport has the ability to improve our quality of life by promoting mental well-being. Physical activity triggers the release of endorphins, commonly known as the 'happiness hormones,' which help in alleviating stress and anxiety. This makes sports a meaningful endeavor that contributes to self-worth and personal fulfillment.

Last but not least, sports serve as a powerful medium for social interaction and friendship building. By participating in team sports or community activities like soccer clubs or running groups, individuals are given the opportunity to connect with like-minded people, fostering a sense of belonging and camaraderie within society.

Considering the points raised above, it is clear that ultimately, sport is not just a pastime, but an essential component of a healthy and balanced lifestyle. It is important, beneficial, and absolutely necessary for personal growth and societal engagement.

---

通过这些改动,文章不仅更具结构性,而且有具体的例子支持论点,使讨论更加全面和有说服力。
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