作文批改并评分

Everyone hopes to live happily in the world. There is a famous saying: "Life lies in exercise." So exercise can help us live longer and more healthily.
First, exercise is good for building our bodies. Itmakes our hearts beat faster and strengthens us.Sports can also make us eat more than usual, contributing to our bodies.
Secondly, exercise can make us happy. Some sports, like basketball, are interesting. So playing basketball can bring us happiness.
Thirdly, exercise can help us get rid of our bad habits. We won't be lazy after a period of exercise.In a word, exercise is important, helpful, and absolutely necessary. This is one of the most important ways to maintain health.
In conclusion, exercise is important, helpful, and absolutely necessaryfor maintaining health.



请按照作文类型以及评分标准对上面的作文进行打分，并指出不足

1)评分原则

本题总分为30分，按5个档次评分。

阅卷人应就总体印象给分，而不是按照语言错误的数量扣分。

评分时，先根据文章的内容要点、篇章结构和语言运用初步确定其所属的档次，然后依照该档次的具体要求酌情增减分数，最后给分应避免分数趋中现象，即不能只给中间档次的分数，该给高分时就应给高分(包含满分)，该给低分时就应给低分(包含0分)。

拼写和标点符号是语言准确性的一个方面。评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑，英式、美式拼写及用法均可接受。

如书写较差难以辨认，以致影响交际，或字数明显少于要求，将分数降低一个档次

2)评分标准

第一档    25-30分：圆满完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部内容要点。
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务要求
语言运用较为准确、恰当


第二档    19-24分：完成了试题规定的任务

清楚地表达了全部或关键内容要点
运用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的基本要求
语言运用基本正确，虽有小错，但不影响理解


第三档    13-18分：基本完成了试题规定的任务

提及了关键内容要点(可能漏掉了个别内容)
运用的语法结构和词汇满足任务的最低要求
存在一些语言错误，但基本不影响理解


第四档    7-12分：完成了一部分试题规定的任务

遗漏或未能清楚表达内容要点
语法结构和词汇单调。
语言错误较多，部分错误影响理解


第五档1-6分：未完成试题规定的任务

明显遗漏内容要点
语法结构和词汇极单调
语言错误很多，严重影响理解



0分：所传达的信息或所用语言太少，无法评价；所写内容与题目要求完全无关

这篇作文内容基本完整，但存在一些语言错误和表达不够准确的地方。以下是我的打分和批改建议：

**得分：** 第三档 13-18分

**批改建议：**
1. 句子结构需要改进，尽量避免重复使用相同的句型，并注意连接词的使用。
2. 需要在文章中加入更多细节和例证，以支撑观点。
3. 注意单词拼写和标点符号的准确性。

**具体修改如下：**

Everyone hopes to live happily in the world. There is a famous saying: "Life lies in exercise." So exercise can help us live longer and more healthily.
First, exercise is good for building our bodies. It makes our hearts beat faster and strengthens us. Sports can also make us eat more than usual, contributing to our fitness.
Secondly, exercise can make us happy. Some sports, like basketball, are interesting, so playing basketball can bring us joy.
Thirdly, exercise can help us get rid of bad habits. We won't be lazy after a period of exercise. In a word, exercise is important, beneficial, and absolutely necessary. This is one of the most significant ways to maintain health.
In conclusion, exercise is crucial, helpful, and absolutely necessary for maintaining health.

希望以上修改对您有所帮助。