With the national economy experiencing rapid growth,making a suitable goal becomes an increasingly importance in our daily life.My goal is to be a social worker for next year.This goal not only helps me realize my self-worth but also contributes to social progress. To achieve this goal, I plan to take three steps. First of all, I will read more books to expand my knowledge reserve. What is more, I will work hard to learn various skills for all-round development. Last but not least, I will actively participate in different activities to cultivate my sense of social responsibility. I believe these efforts will help me to achieve my goal.
This essay is a well-structured piece that clearly outlines the writer's goal for the following year and provides a plan to achieve it. The content is coherent, with clearly expressed ideas that make sense in the context of setting and achieving personal goals.
**Content and Structure:**
The essay successfully presents the main idea of setting a goal to become a social worker next year. It explains why this goal is important and outlines three specific steps to achieve it, which adds clarity and direction to the plan.
**Language Use:**
The language used is generally appropriate, and the vocabulary is varied enough to convey the intended message. There are a few minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that could be improved for greater clarity and precision.
**Suggestions for Improvement:**
1. **Grammar and Word Choice:**
- The phrase "making a suitable goal becomes an increasingly importance" should be corrected to "making a suitable goal becomes increasingly important."
- The phrase "read more books to expand my knowledge reserve" might sound clearer as "read more books to broaden my knowledge base."
2. **Clarity:**
- Consider rephrasing "I will work hard to learn various skills for all-round development" to "I will work hard to acquire various skills to ensure well-rounded development."
3. **Cohesion and Style:**
- While the essay has a logical flow, improving transitional phrases could enhance its coherence. For example, instead of "What is more," you might use "Additionally" or "Furthermore."
4. **Detail:**
- Providing more specific examples of the types of activities you plan to participate in could strengthen the essay by demonstrating a concrete plan.
**Overall Impression:**
This essay falls into the second band, scoring between 19-24 points. It completes the task with clear expression of key content and generally correct language use, though with minor errors. With some refinement in grammar and style, it could easily reach the highest band.
**改进建议:**
1. **语法和用词:**
- 短语“making a suitable goal becomes an increasingly importance”应改为“making a suitable goal becomes increasingly important.”
- 短语“read more books to expand my knowledge reserve”可以表述得更清晰,如“read more books to broaden my knowledge base.”
2. **清晰度:**
- 将“I will work hard to learn various skills for all-round development”重述为“I will work hard to acquire various skills to ensure well-rounded development.”可能会更清晰。
3. **连贯性和风格:**
- 尽管文章逻辑流畅,加强过渡短语可以增强其连贯性。例如,替换“What is more”可以使用“Additionally”或“Furthermore.”